Perfection is a funny thing. We all have this illusion of
what our “picture perfect” life, body, home, children, marriage, etc. would look like. Not one of us are quite cutting the mustard here though, we aren’t
fooling anyone with our run at perfection. We are failing miserably and yet
still trying to “fake it until we make it” a whole lot of the time. I never
really grasped the complete 180 degree difference between perfection and humility
until one day several years ago. One of the best lessons my husband taught me
in parenting was to be humble before our children.

 

 

I remember my daughter choosing to run track in middle
school and she was told that one of her events for a particular meet was going
to be running hurdles. She was not excited about it, but she went after it with
her usual tenacity. In front of an entire grandstand of people, she clipped the
hurdle and fell flat on her face. The crowd responded with the expected sigh of
compassion for her pain. My young son was sitting next to me and turned to me
and said, “Why would you ever choose to embarrass yourself like that?”. My son
had always been one of those kids that if he couldn’t do it perfect the first
time, then he wasn’t going to do it at all. Why risk the humiliation when you
could just avoid it altogether was his thought.

 

 

This is where my husband really taught both of us something
one day shortly after that track meet. My husband and I hadn’t been dating very
long at the time, when my 9 year old son told him flat out that “He was a fool
for not being perfect and my own dad doesn’t make mistakes so he never has to
apologize”. Instead of losing his cool, my husband said “You are absolutely
right, I am not perfect and I don’t ever want you to think that I am. When I am
wrong, I am going to apologize.” My son was speechless. I don’t think he had ever
had a man admit to being wrong before. I didn’t realize it then, but that
moment gave my son permission to be imperfect. In his 9 year old brain, the
idea of being allowed to fail as a “man” had never occurred to him before. Suddenly
it seemed ALL the pressure to never make a mistake had been removed. There were a lot less bursts of rage after that because he didn’t have to live up to his
own ideal of perfection. I am so very grateful that my husband was confident enough
to humble himself to my son. It had a dramatic impact that probably shaped the rest
of my son’s life.

 

 

I think it is important that we teach our kids by example the
grace that God has for us. God doesn’t expect perfection. Our salvation isn’t
based on perfection, it is based on a relationship with him that includes
grace. God expects us to be humble and to apologize when we have wronged others
including our children…perhaps especially our children.

 

 

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,

so that Christ’s power may rest on me.