Have there been times where you can barely keep going through the motions each day? I think we all have seasons that are more difficult than others. Sometimes you can pin point the reason for the dissolutionment. Often it takes some digging to determine where the hurt begins. Other times it seems like EVERYTHING adds up to a challenge that is overwhelming. During these seasons, I’ve found God just wants us to keep trusting him. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and showing up each day. We don’t have to look perfect, sound perfect or be anywhere near perfect. Just show up, each day, until we can walk in confidence again. God never expected us to be perfect, that’s kind of why Jesus came to earth remember?

We all have times where we don’t understand and we can’t come up with logical wisdom or a plan of action. Those are the times it is most important that we keep our eyes on God because he is steadfast. He is giving us the opportunity to choose him fully. We keep reading scripture and we stay focused on who we know we were created to be in God’s image. When the world is swallowing you whole and there doesn’t seem to be a single stable thing to hold onto; we are supposed to be secure in our faith and love of God because we absolutely can stand on the solidarity of our Lord. 

There are a lot of times over the years that I felt beaten up by my life. Years on end where I just couldn’t find a shred of sanity in any of it. I was diligently paddling away trying to stay afloat somehow, not sure when the next set of rapids would appear. There were times where I was broken to the point of complete despair. Continuing to keep my eyes on God and trying to keep him in focus at all times through the hurricane I always seemed to be in the middle of. 

There is one memory which stands out as good visual to exemplify continuing to show up no matter what I looked like, no matter whether I had it together or not. I attended a large church when my children were very young. At the time, their dad worked nights and was tired and could often not be bothered to come to church. It was difficult to get to the Wednesday evening service with my two littles in tow, but most of the time that was the only weekly service I COULD get to. I often didn’t make it in time for worship, but I tried to. This was another night that I had fed two toddlers dinner, dressed them and wrangled them into carseats to make it across town to church within a “reasonable” amount of tardiness. I checked them into their classrooms and snuck into worship late…as usual. I let out a sigh of relief. I had made it. I was dressed in a cute sleeveless shirt, hair and makeup done, feeling like I had pulled myself together pretty well….all things considered. I felt so blessed to just be in the sanctuary worshipping God.

We were invited to greet our neighbors before sitting down. It was then I realized I had dried oatmeal smeared down the entire length of my arm. I distinctly remember  my exact thoughts “Why do you even try? Why do you ever think you can go anywhere and be presentable?”. The condemnation and embarrassment washed completely over me. The service had started. Did I stay or did I go attempt to clean myself up?…surely only to find some other horror or break down in tears in the bathroom and become a bigger mess. I decided I would stay right there as I sucked back tears about to spill down my face. I wasn’t there for appearances. I was there to be before God to listen to a life giving sermon and so I did….even though in that moment I just wanted to run out the doors.

I think those are the seasons God wants us to lean on him. Trust him. Give up trying to have it all together and simply trust he has a plan that is better than what we can understand. Keep leaning and trusting in him every day. Day after day and not giving up. If. Need. Be. Week after week. Month after month. Staying the course. 

Many people talk about Job when they think about trusting God through trials. But I think about Joseph when I think about perseverance. I truly love the story of Joseph. (Genesis 37, 39-45) I love that God used all the unfair garbage that happened to Joseph. Through it all Joseph did not lose faith. He was sold into slavery by his own brothers and falsely accused and imprisoned. Jospeph’s trials are greater than any that most of us will ever endure and yet he always trusted God. Years would go by without much hope of the circumstances changing and he never lost faith. Joseph’s story is in the Bible intentionally to give us a model of perseverance and it gives me strength when everything seems to be going all wrong.

We are called to worship God through the storm. For if we only worship our Lord when everything is sunshine and butterflies what kind of faith is that? It’s a false, conditional love. God wants to know that we trust him unconditionally through every season no matter how long it seems to be lasting. We need not lean on our own understanding. Just keep showing up for time alone with your almighty Savior. Time in prayer. Time in worship…and if that seems like more than you’re capable of right now…. time crying out to him. You are not alone, no matter how you feel. God is strenghtening you and we don’t have to appreciate the process, we just have to keep showing up and surrendering to his will.

Genesis 45:4-8 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.