Was there a time where you felt like it was possible for you to achieve ANYTHING for God’s Kingdom? Just let you at it and you could move mountains, slay lions and nothing was impossible with God on your side? I hope that you are living that out now or you have at least had a season where you truly felt the POWER of God operating within you. You felt purpose, fire, and a spirit of perseverance that nothing could tame. If you haven’t had that mountain top experience, keep reading, this is for you too. Whether you feel armored up for battle and ready to rumble in spiritual warfare at any moment or you feel completely defeated and broken, you can relate to many of God’s chosen in the Bible. God has chosen so many incapable people in the Bible to carry out his purposes. What is amazing to read through in the Bible is that so many of these chosen ones, accomplish INCREDIBLE victories and then feel overwhelming depression, doubt or uncertainty. So if you have incredible testimonies of what God has done in your life and you currently find yourself with less than stellar faith, you have some very good company in the Bible. 

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is of Elijah told in 1King 16-19. Elijah has undergone persecution from evil King Ahab and Queen Jezebel, but challenges the prophets of Baal to a duel of sacrifices of sorts upon Mount Carmel. If Jezebel’s prophets of Baal can call upon Baal to bring fire down upon their sacrifice then Elijah will be defeated. They call on Baal for hours and Elijah mocks them by telling them… maybe if you call louder, maybe he is away or sleeping right now. Then he repeatedly pours water all over his sacrifice (so that there is no possible way it could catch fire), calls fire down from God, his sacrifice is IMMEDIATELY set ablaze and all the people are convinced that he does indeed serve the living and real God and orders all the prophets of Baal to be slaughtered. CAN YOU IMAGINE?? Calling down fire, BOOM, consuming fire and salvations everywhere around! WHAT A MOUNTAINTOP EXPERIENCE!

You might think Elijah could live the rest of his life out with that victory, maybe like the glory days of a high school quarterback! If I was Elijah I would tell that story any chance I got! What a moment!! However, in the next moments we find out that in retaliation Jezebel has ordered Elijah’s death and he responds in fear and despair, asking God to take his life, even though God had just shown himself in an INCREDIBLE way! As you read these scriptures you think…WAIT….WHAT? But isn’t this how we so often end up? God does AMAZING things in our life, we witness incredible victories over sin in others, etc but then time passes and we find ourselves in hopelessness. We are not alone. I believe God knows our human tendencies better than even we do and this is why these stories are in the Bible. He lets us know we are not alone. That even the “heroes” of the faith had tough days. Don’t lose hope. God is still with us.

It wasn’t just Elijah though. Remember Moses’s mountaintop experiences? (Exodus 7-12, 14, 32) He has just spent time with the Lord and received God’s commandments to give to the Israelites. When Moses returns he finds them worshipping a golden calf that they have formed, instead of the Lord. There are many “mountaintop experiences” we can discuss regarding Moses, the plagues upon Egypt that did not touch the Isrealites and the parting of the Red Sea. Can you imagine having this kind of direct interaction with God? That would be AMAZING!!!!! But then as soon as you step away from the people that you have been leading they are RUNNING AMUCK! It would be heartbreaking to say the least. Moses doesn’t respond any differently than probably any of us would. Defeated and depressed, this is his response…. 

Exodus 32:32 But now, please forgive their sin—but if not, then blot me out of the book you have written.

Then there’s King David. Mighty warrior and esteemed king, but he decides that he is going to stay home from battle and Bathsheba catches his eye. He sleeps with her, impregnates her and ends up killing her husband to cover it up! Talk about a fall from grace! Geesh! He was definitely operating out of his own human desire and wasn’t calling on God’s wisdom in any shape or form. The grief of his sin is added onto by the death of his sons. His response…..

Psalm 38:8 I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart.

I just wanted to remind you today of the great men of the Bible that also struggled with feeling down. Men that had heard from God without question and they still succumbed to depression. You are far from being alone in this struggle. None of us are perfect…..just a little reminder that we are not Jesus. It is no surprise to God that we sometimes struggle with our emotional health.  

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

God knows our human character and susceptibility to negativity. Just because you are struggling with negative self talk or feeling like a failure does not mean that God has abandoned you, that is far from the truth. God will strengthen you through the storm even if you can’t imagine that right now. Continue to pray for wisdom, peace and direction. He will not fail you and he has created you strong enough to endure the trials when you turn to him for guidance….even if your not “feelin’ it” right now. God is infinite, your feelings are not. We really should not lean on our feelings for direction, we can be led astray so easily. If you are struggling I urge you to not give up in despair. No matter how low you may feel, you are not alone, you are not the first, you won’t be the last, and there is hope for the future. Pray, trust God, find spiritual/medical/emotional counsel, reach out to trusted friends that you can lean on and BELIEVE scripture. This is a good verse to pray over, even if you feel far from God at the moment. God is with you. 

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.