Fear Factor 500. What Are You Afraid Of?
Fear is not your friend
Have you made fear your friend? Fear is the worst kind of friend. I have recently started calling my previous mode of operation FEAR FACTOR 500 because I multiplied fear x 500 at every opportunity for most of my life. It rolls off the tongue and adds a little humor to the utterly debilitating state I chose to live in.
Maybe it is because I was raised by two parents that operate largely out of fear and every possible “what if” that could go wrong. It took me well into my thirties and quite a bit of counseling before I realized why I had this nagging voice in the back of my mind that would never leave me alone. This voice that always made me feel afraid for no real reason. It took a counselor to look me in the eye and tell me if you have had parents questioning EVERY single decision you EVER made, then why would you EVER feel confident you were EVER doing the right thing?
Eureka! Indeed! Why would I?
The people that knew me best in the whole world (that had tried to teach me how to navigate every situation in life) ALWAYS questioned whether I was sure about what I was doing. Who is EVER 100% confident that they are doing the right thing? Seriously, who? I don’t know anyone. I know people that fake it a whole lot better than I do, but they still aren’t 100% confident. That burden of uncertainty was just lifted almost instantly. I can’t say I didn’t still operate in it, but for the first time I UNDERSTOOD it. They meant well, they were raised in the generation after the depression. It all makes sense; it just wasn’t helping me live fearlessly.
Do you always believe the worst?
I spent so many years living in fear for no particular reason, except that I was convinced the worst would always happen. Honestly, it often did. Most people were glad they weren’t me and often told me so. It was hard to believe at times that it wasn’t my sole purpose to just help people feel better about their life through knowing my ragged circumstances were worse. It was easy to live in fear.
God has it all under control
Once that counselor lifted the reason for the fear off of me, it just wasn’t the same. I knew where the nagging voice came from and it didn’t have the same power. Over time that voice lost all its power. Now I trust God and I don’t always care what happens. Even when I have control over every last detail, things go wrong. So why not relax and trust God has it all under control? I know I don’t have more power than God over the situation. It is kind of silly for any of us to think that we do. Right? Like, “oh don’t worry GOD, I got this one I don’t need you”. Seriously?
My God’s bigger than these circumstances and he has shown me this time and time again. My strength lies in him, not the government, not the medical wisdom, or people’s better hygienic choices…but God. But God. Maybe he will use all of these things and maybe he won’t. What does it matter? This isn’t a surprise to God. He has a plan. It is just so much easier to trust him than that of the world. I don’t have to figure it out anymore. I don’t have to worry about it anymore.
I don’t have to be afraid anymore. And neither do you…unless you choose to.
Isaiah 41:10
1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
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