Do you respond well to the catastrophies in your life? Are you actively searching for God’s purpose in it or are you fighting off depression as if in a sword fight with a fire-breathing dragon? If I am honest, I have responded both ways. I have met the hardest trials with more despair than purpose. I am so grateful God is still working on me and doesn’t abandon me where I am. Aren’t you? Once the initial sting wears off of the next unexpected trial, I hope we can shake it off and pray for guidance into what God is trying to teach us through the crisis. How have you handled the worst seasons of your life and how are you navigating the aftermath of it now? We can trust God will use every bit of it.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

One of the hardest times of my life has been dealing with my mom’s massive stroke in July 2016. In that moment, my mom permanently lost the ability to speak and comprehend clearly. I was optimistic for months that she would heal and return to her previous functionality; but I was wrong and my optimism was trampled repeatedly. I was desperately grasping for some therapy or device that would provide her the quality of life she had previously enjoyed. That was not to be. It took many months, but I unconsciously began grieving the loss of someone who was still living. Prior to the stroke, my mom lived alone and so I called her every single day to check on her. I ran everything past her and shared every event in my life with her and she loved every minute of it. Now the mom that I knew and loved was gone forever, but this other person who was forever frustrated with me had taken her place. This was a terrible blow to my life.  I lost my most faithful supporter and gained my biggest critic…in a moment. 

As you may imagine it took a long time to figure out my emotions. Thankfully my mom’s physical needs are taken care of through an assisted living facility, but every other need is now my responsibility. Eventually I realized that I was in this space of existence where I was grieving the loss of my mother, but burdened to take care of who she is now. I was angry. She was an amazing grandma to my kids and an amazing support to me and my husband. Gone. Now she was demanding and ungrateful. I didn’t have time to cook for my own family for months. I couldn’t even think straight. I felt like there was nobody to help me navigate any of it. I was very angry at God. Why did it have to be her? 

It took me a couple years to stop wishing things were different, but I am a faithful believer that God uses everything. I learned the brutal truth, that I need to take better care of myself or I would end up in the same condition. My mom was “very healthy” according to her doctors, but she had only consumed processed “food” and diet soda her entire life. She had never drank excessively, smoked, or done drugs; this was all due to food choices. This woke me up. God gave me one body. Take care of it, or else my future fate was right in front of me. I can’t do what he put me here to accomplish if I have killed the vessel. Lord knows we need every minute we have here to accomplish God’s will for our life. (I’m not saying God isn’t in control, but we do have free will and I do believe he let’s our choices affect our physical body.) If I am honest, I don’t know how else God could have gotten my attention to take care better care of myself. In addition, family relationships have also been healed and healthy boundaries between family have been established. I had no faith that I would ever see this, but God used the tragedy to create restoration. Is there something tragic in your life that God used to get your attention?

I don’t choose to believe that God caused the stroke, but I do know he allowed my mom to take care of her body in the fashion that she chose which led to predictable consequences. God used the tragedy of this situation to teach me (and others) some wisdom. This does not surprise me. My mom is still living and it is still a difficult situation for me. If you are in a circumstance that has shaken your entire existence, you may need to wade through the muck for a bit, but when you are ready and you can see clearly again….Look up. Pray to see clearly what God’s purpose is in the mess. He may not provide it in that moment and you may not be capable of seeing it in the crisis, but keep your eyes focused on God. Keep looking and searching for his purpose and remember there is nothing too big for our God. God will guide your steps and your understanding, but above all he will give you peace that transcends all understanding.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,  to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.