I would rather people hate me for who I AM, than love me for who I’M NOT. I have lived by this motto my entire adult life. I don’t want anyone to desire to be around me because they believe I’m something that I’m not; I would rather be hated for what I stand for and who I am. Don’t get me wrong I am not trying to go around making enemies. I’d rather nobody disliked me….but I also know I can’t control others. I can only provide the truth so they can decide whether they want to pursue an honest friendship.

There are many things in life that it took me WAY too many years to figure out, but somehow THIS lesson I learned in high school. Back then, there were things that people believed about me that were untrue. At first I didn’t correct anyone because I decided it wasn’t anyone else’s business…and it wasn’t. But somehow my values and ethics became a daily topic of conversation that I was powerless to govern. That train just kept rolling down the tracks until I could not get it back under control. So I quit even trying. I tried to pretend into this belief everyone had of me because I didn’t know how to back that train up. Thankfully, it was a lesson in high school where we were all going our separate ways and it would be of unimportance in a matter of months. However, the dreaded feeling of being esteemed for something I wasn’t, has never left me. I never wanted to be in that position again….ever.

The truth had always been important in my life, but after that experience it took on an even more critical role in everything I did. I needed everyone to know the real me, no matter what the circumstance. I would rather be embarrassed and truthful, than revered and dishonest. And so I have. Anyone that knows me knows that I am an open book with the details of my life because if you are going to be my friend I want you to KNOW who you are friends with beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Which leads me to ask…if you don’t hold this same passion for truth, why not? I’m not recommending you go to the tallest building and start shouting your deepest darkest secrets to anyone who will listen (although not having anything you are ashamed of people finding out is a VERY free place to be. Read Share Your Story With the World). Would you rather have friends that you are fearful would walk out of your life if they found out the truth? I don’t want those kinds of friends. Please don’t think I take my position lightly. I have had friends sever friendships with me because they couldn’t handle the reality of my life….at the time I couldn’t handle it either, but I wasn’t given an opportunity for exit! I know what it is to be devastated by someone that you thought you could trust. It is some of the worst pain I’ve been through in my life, but I would still rather that relationship be destroyed than held together by a lie. Love me or hate me, at least it will be based on truth! 

It is such a free existence to be loved for who you are, not who you want people to believe you are or hope you will be one day. It’s so much work to impersonate a better version of yourself every moment of your life. We are all flawed and we are all worthy. I have yet to hear a testimony that I haven’t heard some part of before and the heartbreaks that follow typically go down similar paths. I can assure you that EVERYONE is broken is some way. Let truth prevail. Give people the opportunity to love you for who you actually are. GOD DOES AFTER ALL. 

1 John 3:18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.