Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Define Your Happiness
We so often let the Hallmark holidays dictate our joy.
Why do we give away our happiness so easily? The honest truth is that these holidays are marketed with one agenda…..to make money….A LOT of money. Personally, I think they often create more heartache than happiness. If you are single, Valentine’s Day is the day the whole world seemingly reminds you! If you are in an unhealthy relationship, Valentine’s Day is the one day you hope your partner will get “it” right or you are once again reminded of ALL the failures.
When we do this we CHOOSE to hand over our contentment to the Valentine’s Day marketing department! It is kind of ridiculous. We don’t have to choose this. We can stop choosing to give away our joy by agreeing with a marketing team’s vision for our happiness. Our joy is in the Lord; not a box of chocolates, flowers or a fancy dinner. Do those things really define whether you are happy or not? None of those things are going to fulfill us!
Psalm 4:7
You [God] have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.
It is God’s place to bring us joy, if we have a loving spouse then that is icing on the cake. If we are single then we have more time to dive deeper into a relationship with God, which will give us more joy than any human is capable of. Don’t let the fantasies of a romantic Valentine’s Day steal the joy of being in relationship with the one who loves you most, Jesus. I guess what I am trying to say is that we need to decide what brings us joy and not be marketed out of that truth.
We need to decide what brings us joy and not be marketed out of that truth.
For 25 years I was in a mentally and verbally abusive relationship. Love was spoken of often, but it was not shown and I did not feel loved. Valentine’s Day was the ONE DAY per year that I put all the pressure on for my previous husband to prove he loved me. As you may have noticed my name is Valerie. Val. Val’s Day. The first few letters of my name are EVERYWHERE this time of year. Flowers, balloons and chocolates readily available at every turn. Yet he would show up empty handed year after year and act blindsided that he hadn’t come up with some superficial token to show me some basic level of love. I put ALL this pressure on this DAY to outweigh the heartache of the other 364 days of the year. Isn’t that a ridiculous notion? I chose to give that much power to one day. A day that no matter what happened wasn’t going to change anything. I let that choice bring me even more pain.
That relationship was painful and I pray to God that you are not going through the same pain. Regardless, I urge you to re-evaluate how much priority you are giving to these Hallmark holidays – even birthdays, anniversaries, mother’s day & father’s day. When they aren’t Pinterest perfect, then we choose to be disappointed. Let us not CHOOSE to give our joy away to these circumstances. Maybe you are saying, I’m single – I would rather have some screwed up celebration where everyone did everything wrong than nothing at all! You are still choosing a fullfilled expectation over joy.
John 16:22
No one will take away your joy.
Let me let you in on something that will change your life.
We don't have to CHOOSE to let our circumstances ruin our day.
BOOM! I said it. I’m not suggesting you don’t feel, but if you give your joy away to feel sadness that should be a CHOICE, not an automatic response to the lack of a Pinterest perfect day. Those “dates” on the calendar don’t have the capability to bring you lasting joy anyway. Be very conscious of what you choose. Don’t choose to give away your joy.
Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart
Let’s fast forward a bit. If you are in a struggling relationship it would be easy to flippantly dismiss everything I’ve said. It must be easy for me to say because you assume I have a husband who is amazing and does all the right things on these Hallmark holidays. Truth be told, I could care less about these Hallmark holidays now. My husband was actually raised in a religion that did not celebrate ANYTHING and he came to Christ later in life. Therefore the idea of parties, presents, cards, etc is utterly lost on him. My husband shows me every single day that he loves me and thus if he doesn’t fit the societal expectations on days like Valentine’s Day I could care less. It doesn’t define or reveal a single thing about our relationship and it never will because I’ve peacefully chosen to decide that they mean nothing to me and that they no longer have the power to steal my joy. What will you choose? I hope it is joy in the Lord through every circumstance.
Psalm 16:11
In your [God's] presence there is fullness of joy.
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