All around me I see society judging based on their OWN knowledge. As a whole they are not reaching out in compassion; not trying to learn, grow and seek guidance…just leading out of their OWN experience and not attempting to understand anyone else’s perspective. It is easy for each of us to operate only out of our own history, that takes NO effort on our part. We think and act how we always have, it is so natural and yet SO lacking. I am not a saint in this department, but I think I may have come to a point where I can’t participate or watch the pain anymore. I simply cannot handle anyone knowingly ADDING to the divisiveness in our culture, whether it be political, race, faith, etc. We need to focus on trying to UNDERSTAND each other, even if it is doubtful we can ever fully agree. I have learned so much from just listening to those that speak their hearts and share their pain. We have only our own lense to view the world through, but what if our thirst for compassion was greater than our thirst to be right? What if EVERYONE truly felt that they were heard and understood? What a world that would be to live in!

I almost can’t write, I am so consumed in crying out and praying that my children could live in a world where the greatest goal would be to LOVE one another BETTER instead of DEMANDING to be HEARD. I don’t know how much power I alone have, but I will tell you that I for one can no longer sit by and watch people INTENTIONALLY cause division between one another. With the events of the last couple weeks in mind I am desperately saddened, but it is so much deeper than this. It isn’t just divisions due to race. Or politics. Or faith. It is SO MANY THINGS. Can we turn the tide TOWARDS loving and desperately trying to understand where we are each coming from? Even if it is a place of desperation and hurt, can we at least be curious why that is the language of this persons life? It isn’t each person’s responsibility to share their scars so we can learn, but if you reach out to someone in love (even if you don’t know them) it is an appreciated effort to understand. I am sure we could all do better at this. We will never all agree on every last issue, God created us unique and our experiences in this world have further created perceptions that we can’t all relate to. It doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t stand in the way of us wanting the very best for each other and that can’t happen if we have no compassion for what we are each struggling to heal from. 

The book of Job has really been on my mind this week. If you are not familiar with the book of Job, it is the story of a wealthy, God fearing man. God allows Satan to destroy Job’s wealth, children and health to prove that Job will still trust in God even when he has NO earthly reason to do so. Job’s livestock and possessions are destroyed, his children all die and then he is subjected to painful health challenges, but he does not forsake God. Job’s friends, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar come to comfort Job after hearing of his severe losses. They come to stand with him in solidarity, but it isn’t long before they decide Job must be hiding some hidden sin for all this pain to come upon him. In essence they blamed Job for his problems. Talk about kicking you while your down, with friends like those who needs enemies! They listened to Job mourn and lament. They didn’t seek to UNDERSTAND his pain; they seeked to JUSTIFY his pain. What if they had just come to be. Just be. Perhaps they would have walked away with greater faith. I really feel like God is trying desperately to get us to be still and listen to each other. (If you want to dig deeper into the story of Job, this is link to a great commentary from Theology of Work Project.)

There is someone very close to me that has the reputation for talking way too much. This person often gets teased for monopolizing conversations and is diligently working to do better. I know this person’s story, I know the pain that this behavior comes from. I know that this person talks too much because their entire life they were not listened to by anyone and thus have NEVER felt heard. When I explain this to those who mock, it immediately ends any ridicule. Why? Because now they understand the pain behind the repeated sentences and the need to simply be heard. What if we all stopped long enough so that everyone felt listened to? Our world so desperately needs this. Let’s be the change our world needs to see. Let’s let the love of Jesus show through in this way. Let us each make it our top priority that each person in our life feels heard, understood and safe in our presence. Together we can show God’s light to our dark world, we can be the change so desperately needed and draw others to Jesus at the same time. 

One last story to help us shift our own thinking and hopefully operate out of a spirit of compassion and understanding instead of judgement. By Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. (pp. 30-31)

“I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly – some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.
    Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway.  The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.
    The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.
    It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”
    The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”
    Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh, I’m so sorry! Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant.”

Job 28:20-28 Where then does wisdom come from?Where does understanding dwell? It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds in the sky. Destruction and Death say, “Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.” God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells, for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens. When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters, when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm, then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it. And he said to the human race, “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.”