What parenting fail do you feel guilty about this week? It seems every mom I know feels guilty about something. It is pretty commom for working moms to feel guilty, but stay at home moms often struggle with other forms of guilt. I’m here to tell you that I think all of us are carrying the weight of unrealistic, worldly expecations on our shoulders. Not one of us has it all perfectly figured out and so in those moments of defeat we let the world tell us it would have been better if we had only _________. (Fill in your own blank.) The truth is we can’t possibly be all that the world says we should be and today’s culture is the last place we should be seeking guidance from anyway. It is about time we all shake off the guilt. 

I have always been a mom that worked. Before my children were in school, I worked part time, so that I could stay home and we could financially make ends meet. When my kids were in school I went back to working full time at my own in-home business. I organized my schedule so that I could help in their classrooms for a couple hours each week until each child finished third grade. This meant I really never had a day that there wasn’t a committment scheduled. I would do it all over again, but it was exhausting. I worked Saturdays so I missed a lot of soccer games and band competitions, even though I did my best to make it to many. I still felt guilty. I wanted to be at EVERY awards assembly and field trip, but it was not possible.

Then I met stay at home mom’s with younger children that couldn’t help out in the classroom, so they felt guilty. I met mom’s that home schooled, but were never sure they were doing the best for their kids. Some stay at home moms wished they could buy more for their kids or go on vacations other families enjoyed. Mom’s who worked full-time and commuted felt guilt when they couldn’t attend school events or be home for their kids after school, but they made it to every Saturday sporting event. We are all judging ourselves against this mother that doesn’t actually exist. There is no woman that is capable of attaining this worldly standard. God chose each of us to parent the children he blessed us with. Hopefully, we are living by biblical values and are teaching those values to our kids. I have to believe that is what God cares most about. 

What unattainable motherly standard are you holding yourself to? As far as comparisons go I think Mary, mother of Jesus, is a standard to aspire to. Don’t you think so? Guess what though? Mary (and Joseph) lost Jesus! She misplaced the Savior of the world! Sometimes I think God put these verses in the Bible so us moms would cut ourselves some slack.

Luke 2:41-49 Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?”

Do your very best with the capabilities that God gave you to raise the child(ren) he blessed you with and ditch the guilt once and for all. Your kids wouldn’t have it any other way. Mom guilt is real, let’s be the generation that it ends with. God knows what we are fully capable of as long as we are leaning on him. It is about time we stopped comparing ourselves to the super model, stay at home mom with a career that earns passive income while she is attending every awards assembly and soccer game. Get real! We are real human beings, living in a real world, navigating parenting the best way we know how. Your kids are learning valuable lessons about balancing the difficulties in life through whatever mothering path you have chosen for your family. If there is some parenting behavior that you feel convicted about then work on it, otherwise it’s time to kick guilt to the curb for good. Your kids would choose you again, even on your worst day.